ABOUT EDITED AND PUBLISHER OF
THIS BOOK
DR. D. Suresh Babu practicing Senior Radiographer, and Lab
technician, born on 6-6-1967 at Kolar Gold Fields also called “LITTLE ENGLAND”, located in the hilly tracts of Kolar
District in Karnataka State of India. The 2nd child of Late Mr. M.D.
Pragasam (A)Dharma lingam and Mrs. Chandra with three brothers Ramesh, Sathya,
Thangarasu and one elder sister Mythili. . Grown in a family active in Trade
unionism and social service activities. married with G. jayanthi in 2005.
My father Mr. MD pragasam was a employee in BGML as pipe fitter mastery
40 years service, joint secretary of CITU trade union he is writer and director.
I studied primary and middle schooling at
Maria vidyalaya,in Champion Reef’s, K.G.F. High school at St. Mary’s boy’s high
school, K.G.F. and finished my diploma in Radiography at PES College, Bangalore
in the year 1984-86. Undergone Radiography training at BGML Hospital K.G.F. and
my graduation of B.A. at First Grade College, K.G.F in 1990 not completed.
Established K.G.F X-Ray Lab and Diagnostic Centre in 1992 at Roberson Pet,
K.G.F. my Doctorate in Social Welfare from Golden State University, Nevada,
United States of America. Member of Rural Medical Practitioner at Hyderabad.
Registered medical practitioner in (AM) at Institute of Alternative Medicine
Kolkata. DMLT
(Diploma
in Lab Technician) at Angel Community College Bangalore. And my Bachelor in
Cinematographer at IVUP (Indian Virtual University Peace &Education)
Diploma in journalism. Established MD. Pragasam Chandra group of institution in 2011.
The influence of my Father and the
Suffering of people, which I saw made me Selfless and Struggle for the Down
Trodden and started conducting free medical camps for the poor people, many
other development programmes , and construction of bus shelter and free reading
room at Gilberts Corner champion reef kgf in the memory of my father com. MD. Pragasam. This made me a Philanthropist. I Started my
service as member of the following Organizations.
·
National
President Unity Human Rights Organization (Founder & President)
·
Organizing
secretary of “ Sri Patanjali Yoga Shikshana Samithi”.
·
Treasurer
of Sri Padanjali Yoga Shikshana Trust
·
Founder
President com. MD. Pragasam Charitable Trust.
·
Founder
and President of KGF CINEMA ASSOCIATION
·
Founder
and President of KGF PARAMEDICAL ASSOCIATION
·
MD
Of MDPC Group of institution
·
MDPC
CREATION ,PRODUCTIONS AND PRODUCER at KFCC Reg NO: 0254/17
·
I
WILL
START WEB TV CHANNEL MDPC AND SJ
FROM OCT 2017 TO TILL
·
I
AM THE REPOTER OF POLICE PUBLIC PRESS
BOOKS WRITTEN BY ME (AUTHOR)
·
The
author of 1.“Ancient wisdom” published by “the home of letters (holy)
Bhubaneswar. 2.Kolar gold field Historical Events , 3.The Mummies ,4.The Human
Body,
·
5.Pathology,
6.Journalism , 7.Diabeties and nature medicine Yoga 8. Medical Photography
Radiation Physics and Radiography 9.My
History&Cinematography.10.Ancientcemetery&HumanRights published by
power publisher Kolkata 12 TOMORROW
NEVER COMES Edit and Publish SELF
PUBLISH 2019
·
11.HONORING
MY TEACHERS Self publish book 2017
·
Shortly
going to release kolar gold field historical events part 2&Prostitution
shortly
·
1.
X-Ray Technician 2.LabTechnician. 3.Diploma IN Journalism, 4.Cinematographer
5.Actor.6.Author,7.Director,8.Lyrics Writer
·
My
biography 2017
·
These
untiring services to Mankind have made me Recognizable to the society which in
turn have recognized my service and awarded me with different awards.
Ø “Gold is gold Narpani Nayagan “Awarded
by Tamil Nadu Cinema Kalai Mandram .
Ø “Sevai Thilagam “ awarded by south
India cultural academy.
Ø “Diamond is diamond Manida Neya
Semmal” Awarded by Ajantha fine arts Tamil Nadu.
Ø “Manida neya mamani “ awarded by tamil
thai ara kattalai , T richy, Tamil Nadu.
Ø “Elakkiya Thendral” awarded by
thiruvallur tamil illakiya kalagam.
Ø “Manida neya mamani” awarded by palam
Chennai.
Ø Distinction award by holy “the home of
letters” Bhubaneswar.
Ø “The man of the year” awarded by the
home of letters Bhubaneswar.
Ø “Admirable personality of India”
awarded by Friendship forum of India New Delhi.
OTHER EXTRA ACTIVITIES
ACTOR
1
Acted
in future film in KASU
IRUNDHA,
as a Scientist in role.
2
Performed
in more than hundred songs, for old film songs as acted in back ground. Which
was for old songs?
3
I
had acted in 4 Short films, MARUPAARVAI in the role as Doctor, in THIRUPAPAM, as a Advising role, in PUDHU MALLARCHI, in a role as a relative of the Hero.
4
Had
acted in short film DHADHA
MLA Role
PRUDUCER AND DIRECTER
Had produced and directed in short
films such as.1.
PEI AAVI, 2.YEAKAM, 3.PUDHUMALLARCHI, 4.MARUPAARVAI,5.THIRUPPAM,6.ORUTHALAI
KAADAL,8.KARPANAI,9.NEYAM
MY SHORT FILMS & DOCUMENTARIES Participated in Delhi international
film festival 2016
1. PUDHUMALLARCHI,2.MARUPAARVAI, 3.THIRUPPAM 4.KOLAR GOLD FIELD HISTORICAL
EVENTS
KARPANAI FILM FESTIVAL 2017 BEHIND
WOOD FF
MY Documentary film such as 1.CHOLAS TEMPLE IN KOLAR, 2.KOLAR GOLD
FIELDS HISTORICALEVENTS, 3.KGF CULTURE, 4.HONORING MY TEACHERS, 5.DOCTOR ABDUL
KALAM, .6.MOTHER THERESA. 7.BHAGAT SINGH,8.KGF MEDICAL
BUNDH,9.JALLIKATTU,10.ROTARY POLIO AWARE NES PRGRAM,11.KGF CEMETARY
5
Award
presented by me through our organizations for more than 50 teachers, for their
special services for the people of KGF in the year 2016.
6
Award
presented by me through our organizations more than 200 honoraries, for their
hard work and social services, talents, in acting, and other various activities
for the people of KGF.
Copyright © 2019 Dr . D
. suresh babu
All right reserved.
Address
MD PRAGASAM CHANDRA BULIDING , FIRST
FLOOR 1st CROOM ROAD, ROBERTSONPET, KGF KOLAR , DIST : KARNATAKA
All right
reserved by author. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a
retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic,
mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission
of the publisher
The views
expressed in this book are entirely those of the author. The soft copy, print
copy/ publisher, and distributors of this book are not in any way responsible
for the views expressed by the author in this book.
ISBN-9732004681220
First
published: 2019
COVER DESING
:DR.D.SURESH BABU
DISTRIBUTED
BY DR.D.SURESH BABU,MDPC SJ TV, PUBLIC
FOCUS PRESS .
As I was requested to release this story by the
women and the elderly person Smt Agnes O Shaughnessy who had a wish in her
mind as an ambition to release this book and this would touch many souls,
particularly for the people who are reading this would be touched and the days and
the memories would be a boost to the readers, So I want to release this story
and dedicate this on behave of my Parents, that is MD Pragasam and Chandra Pragasam, and I hope this would
have a consoling to the deserted and so I feel happy to do this work for the
elderly person who want to release this for the memories of her days and
remember these days of happiness in spite of loneliness… I thank all the
readers and the people who had supported for this release.
Usually As A team we used to visit orphans old
age homes and hospitals also in one of our visit to a old age home l met a lady
who is different from others old age women 89 years i try to talk her and she
was so happy to talk with me and shared her experience though she was born in
kolar gold field she traveled to many places in India and abroad while talking
to her she came with an ambition that the story wet she has written about her
life story and named it as TOMORROW NEVER COMES it
was very interesting she ask me to publish her book i agree to publish it and
she was so happy she try to dance with me and shared her happiness and sorrow
of her life and she Adopted me As her son and i felt it to accept her for my
mother Agnes O Shaughnessy.
TOMORROW
NEVER COMES
STORY BY Agnes O Shaughnessy
I was only 16 at that time, the
world was young and life beckoned to reaching out with greedy fingers, tempting
me to touch those fingers, that later betrayed me so cruelly.
But let me tell my story from the
very beginning, I Was born in the beautiful month of June and was named jenny,
Loved and pampered by two of the nicest people in the whole wide world mother
and father. I was their world and I grew up pampered and cared for as a well .i
made lots of friends but my very best friend was Gloria. we would go every ware together .i am remembering were it
all started ,it was the mid summers night ball ,June the 24th ,which was also the date my
birthday fell on . Hum Gove me a chain
with a locket. on opening it I say my photograph ,I laughed and I said, “ just
in case I wonder of in to the gloom .’how little I knew that in that moment my
fate had been sealed . dancing for me was the breath I breathed I loved dancing
especially when there was lots of rock I filled me with her
madness that made me want more. No sooner I entered Club I
was much sought after. I”d flit and flit along, partner after partner, never
caring with whom just so long as I kept on dancing.
The gang was all going, would I, miss
out? Not on your life i would ; I remember Gloria coming over to my house. She
was wearing a cream sheath. She looked great but then Gloria always did. I
noticed that she wore her turquoise necklace which had always been a great favorite of mine.
“HI! Ready?”,he shouted . I was just
getting dressed . mum had bought my a
new dress , a floral pattern on a white
background .
“come on in at help me with zip .
It ‘s suck !which shoes shall I wear ?”
“Eh ! with that dress you can wear any
thing . “
“shall I put on the red ?”
“for gosh sakes hurry “,cried Gloria
impatiently . I knew that she was just dying to go .Who would not be ? I always
got that excited feeling myself when I was going for a dance and I was never disappointed.
I always returned happy having danced every dance. and the guys were that most
!
The happy holiday club was a huge
sprawling place. The grounds extended for miles. There were arbors hidden Neath
the trees, soft music was piped for those who were in a romantic mood .
We entered and immediately the
crowd caught up with us . everybody were so gay and laughter
filled air .
Jack spied me, “Hi !sugar ,come on let ‘s get
on the floor .I’ve been waiting for a lifetime for you “.he smelt foul , He had
been drinking !
“shucks! go tell that to
somebody else you darned liar”.
He laughed uproariously and swung
me on to the floor.
It was great swinging to the fast
beat. I must admit jack was a good dancer after that came time he was a born
flirt. I was quite use his way. We joked and laughed whilst dancing. Frank came
next he loved to talk to more than to dance that was why I nick named him “bore
.
And so partner after partner
until I was hungry enough to eat horse!
We crowed round the snack bar. We
ordered hot dogs and I hogged. As I Reached for another a hand grabbed mine,”say,
where do you put it away. You’re goanna be a mighty sick gal with all that
tucked inside you “.
I looked up and found myself
gazing into the most bewitching pair of
eyes .oh! boy was he handsome with the most gorgeous dimple when he smiled where had he come from ? I had never laid
eyes on him before!
“Come on ,luv! Let ‘s dance “, he
said
I could not wait to be asked . “sure”,
I breathlessly answered I all but ran on to the floor .
I remember it was a slow , dreamy number and as we danced
he whispered softly, “come closer”. we ended up clinging to one another. I was
excited to be dancing with the best looking fella in the room . I had never
felt like this before and I thought to myself , this must be what falling in
love means .And if it were so then it was the most wonderful feeling !
“You know , you ‘re the most gorgeous gal I ever
met .It was fate that brought me to club tonight . I intended going some place
else , I’m so glad that I came here
Are you alone?” I asked.
He answered, “There was a girl
but she disappeared with some other guy”. I felt relieved and I allowed him to draw me even closer . I
found his lips on my cheek and it set me on fire .there was nothing more I ever wanted than to spend the rest of
my life with him .I could hear Neil the crooner singing “Please Release me “ . I snuggled up even closer to him knowing in my heart that I
would never Let him go .
when the dance ended he led me to one of the leafy arbours . I
noticed It was
entwined with roses which gave out a heady scent . As I SAT DOWN I wondered
what Gloria would be thinking but she was not one to bother for long as she
would be having the time of life herself . The waiter hovered nearby and he
waved him over . He ordered a gin and lime for the both of us .I did not want
him to know that I never drank so I went along with .I took a sip but I did not
like the taste one little bit, it felt
awful . However, I quickly drained the glass. Then everything started to get fuzzy,
figures floated past. once I heard
Gloria shout , “Having a great time eh! “ and laughing she past on .
I felt his body pressing against
mine ,oh ! but it felt good ! who cared if people were looking ‘for me there
were only the two of us .he reached out and took my hand and I snuggled up closer to him .
“Honey , You ‘ re beautiful “,and his voice sound husky .”I want to show
you a lot of thing “.
“What thing “I asked . Oh !I knew
about sex but I had never gone all the
way . Heavy petting was not im with me .I preferred kissing and light necking
.they called me tease and I always laughed .
“Hey !surely you ‘ve had plenty of affairs. I saw how you
flaunted your sex with every guy you danced with “.
I was so hurt and a sob
rose in my throat . But I remembered how I had danced with gay abandon
. I was so proud of my figure that was
full and I could never resist showing off whenever I got
the chance . After , all I was only 16 : And life was wonderful at 16 when
everybody thought you were beautiful .
Then he continued ,”I saw you
thrusting yourself up close to every guy
, I myself got all heated up just watching you and I was determined to find out
if you were for real “,saying which he drew me tight across his chest and mouth
on mine .
I was shaken to the core , I had
never dreamed a kiss could be so divine
, I responded with my whole being ,I
never wanted the kiss to end . Then came
the bitter thought that he imagined I was a hussy and so I ‘ d play the part .
loving him as I did but hating him at the same time for what he thought I was .
his hand caressed my skin , he explored every secret corner , and I just let
him . I knew the drink had gone right to my head and I didn’t care . He then looked at his watch and said , “It ‘s past midnight . “
I
found couples disappearing into
the darkness . he followed my
gaze and whispered , “shall we ?”
I would never have managed
without his help , walking was difficult and I was swaying . But nobody cared
to notice as they were hurrying off to get some place alone .I
felt so elated , so grown –up , so woman ,and I moved closer to him . I heard him draw in
his breath , he lowered his mouth and we kissed out there in the darkness .
Then leading me along a path , we
entered a room festooned with ting
coloured Chinese lanterns , and when he pressed a button soft music filled the air . the
floor was covered with a rich carpet and damask curtains hung from the windows . In a corner of the room stood a
couch with a velvety red coverlet spread on it . He lowered me to the couch and
he said huskily , “Baby I waited for this moment all night . come on now , show
me the kind of love you give to others , or shall we make it special for ourselves tonight? “
Then I tried to explain that he
was the first but he laughed and lowered
his mouth to mine . then with a flick of his wrist he had turned off the lights
. I experienced the pain and thon joy as
he made love to me my moans together with his heavy breathing were the only
sounds I heard . He was uttering endearments while caressing me and I was filled with the desire to please him .
My passion matched his and then it was all over . I removed my chain and asked
him to wear it and never ever part with it . I decided that I would buy another
just in case mum should wonder why I never wore her gift .
We must have slept for a while
for when I saw it was 3 a. m. by the luminous dial of my watch. I looked down
at him and couldn’t resist putting my arms around him . He was instantly awake
and we made love again . then he asked me how I was feeling and I told him a
little tired .
He laughed softly and said , “you
‘re a great lover! Tomorrow I ‘ ll take you to the dream boat , I want that you should meet the
gang . Wow! they love voluptuous girls. You with your lovely figure that turned me on from the very start
will be the envy of all
the dames Don’t forget our date at 8 PM tonight.” And he was off with a tender kiss after dropping
me my door
I wondered if mum would be
waiting up for me . I had my own latchkey but she usually did and we would have
a cup of tea together . but now it was nearly
4 AM and I felt miserable .
However ,the house was in
darkness and I was relieved that I wouldn’t have to make any explanation .I turned
on the shower and while the warm water trickled down upon my skin I was remembering every moment
. I saw myself in the arbour again, and the hunger for him was there .I
knew I would
I fell asleep immediately my head
touched the pillow and I slept late .
At breakfast mum asked me why I had delayed and I told her
a great big life . mum always trusted me , what would she have said had she
known what had happened! She would have been terribly shocked,I know !dad had
died when I was only 10 years old and she worked hard to give me a decent life.
I went to school but several
time miss Hopkins, our science
teacher, caught me day-dreami9ng . I was in a fever of excitement throughout the day ,just
longing for the time when I would be with him again .
At dinner mum kept reminding me
t6he cracker soup was growing cold. Oh1 shucks! On a night like this the soup
could become an igloo for all I cared .
I told mum I was going out that night and she said the
usual Thing That night I dressed with
care, I wore a diamante and bead –
studded slip-dress that emphasized my
curves admirably. It was cut daringly low and my cleavage could be seen, but like I said I lo0ved showing off
my figure and when I looked in the mirror ,I saw another pair of eyes looking, admiring, caressing me,
and I grew so hot with longing to be
with him once again . I chose pearl earrings with matching necklace. my hair
was long and fell in waver down my shoulders , I remembered how he would twine
his fingers into my hair while he made love to me , and I was glad I had
dressed carefully for him .
Suddenly I looked at the clock
and what I saw amazed me . It was showing 8 .45 p .m . I shouted down to mum to let me know the time and the
answer was the same . I sat down and thought , ‘ Oh! A flat tyre ‘ .
I waited and waited but I never
heard a horn near our porch . I don’t
know how long I sat , I never looked at the clock again . I would shut my ears every
time it was about to strike the hour .
What happens to someone when all their dreams have turned
to ashes , I remembered I cried softly , my make –up had all run and I
was a sight It was in the odd hours of
nthe4 morning when I crept into bed .
The next morning I stayed by the
phone but he never asked a called. Each
morning it was the same and a cold dread began to creep into my heart . I
dared not speak my thoughts aloud.
I had to force myself to eat now –a-days and mum was getting
bothered knowing that there was something wrong , but she could never get to
the bottom of it because I couldn’t tell her anything . My feelings had all
grown numb . Where was the laughing girl of yesterday ? Ah! She was dead !
A specter of doom had risen in her place
! To cheer me up mum pressed some money into my palm and told me to go shopping
. I did not want to hurt her so I took the money and instead went to a part
and sat down .
Traffic went past and I heard
people laughing gaily . Everybody had somebody , and a terrible grief tore at
my heart I burst in to tears .i cried and cried but event tears come to an end.
I picked up my feet and went home.
one morning as I woke I felt6 sick and started
to retch . Then I had a blackout. as I came around I found myself on my bed and
mum anxiously peering vat my face .i asked her what had happens and she told me that I had
fainted and she had sent r your doctor .
He examined me and then went down
immediately, mother following close on his
heels . I could hear them talking in whispers and then mother sobbing . I was
filled with a sense of foreboding ! why were they taking so long to come up and
see me ? I couldn’t bear the suspense
any longer and called out to mum .
I heard her footsteps but I
noticed that she halted in the doorway as if not aware of her surrounding , she
seemed to looking through me . It felt like I wasn’t in the room .
I asked , “mum, what’s wrong ?
why are you looking at me like that ?”Then she came forward ,fell beside the
bed and started weeping .
Again I asked , “mum , tell me .
What is the matter “
Then she looked up , and with a trembling hand touched my face started
to weep again .
“My child “, she cried in between sobs b, “ my
child , who did this to you “
I could not understand what you are trying to
tell me . can you explain?”
“Jenny , you are pregnant . I
must know the name of this boy “.
Ah! What dose a girl of 16 do
when she hears she is going to have a baby ! What can she say to a beloved
mother whom she has hurt so terribly !
“ mum “, I said , “ I don ‘t even
know his name “.
She gasped , “But jenny , how
could you have given yourself to a complete
stranger ?”
How could I
explain to mum the wild beatings of a heart that could only be tamed in
a love that had never been experienced before .
I wondered whether mum had ever
felt that way . perhaps she also had when she first met dad . I only knew mum
as a very industrious worker besides a brilliant housewife . she may have loved
dad truly because she never married
again after his death . once I found her
crying but she would never tell me what
it was all about .
I started to cry and cry and the
doctor came in . I felt a prick in my arm and then I passed out .
The next morning the first thing
I remembered was that I was that I was going to have a baby . then I remembered
that lots of my friends fell pregnant , had their babies , and returned to school . sometime they even
brought their babies along with them .
so I thought to myself , “why not I too
have a baby “. I saw myself becoming a mother and I loved the park .
then as I fell to thinking about this , mum walked in and found me wearing the
biggest smile on my face .
She looked puzzled and then said
, “I ‘ve been thinking . We can get rid
of it .I know a good doctor and I ll
make an appointment .”
How like mum to decide so quickly
! but I surprised her even more when I said ,
“mum , I ‘m going to have this baby “.
“ But, jenny , who will care for the child when you are at school and I
at work ?”
“ I have been thinking about that
mum , I will ask Aunt Dorothy to care for my baby until I return . “ Aunt dorothea ws mum ‘ s older sister .
“Are you sure that ‘s what you
want ? “ ,enquired mum worriedly . And I
told her , “yes “ .
I stopped going to school and instead devoted
myself to doing the chores around the house . I would
spring nice surprises on mum. she enjoyed mince pies and apple dumplings and I
was so happy to be able to do this for
her when she returned tired from work .
I started showing and like our
doctor instructed , went for long walks in the open . Each day was one day
closer to the great day and I was excitedly looking forward to it .
The pains started and mum bundled
me into the car and drove to the hospital. On arriving I was given a nice room
with ma bay window overlooking a wide lawn with flower beds neatly laid out .
I was wheeled into the delivery
room . The pains were bad , but mum was
there and if mum was there I need not be afraid .
My, baby was born in the afternoon,
and mum told me it was a girl. the nurse brought her to me later for just a
while , and as I held her in my arms I
was filled with such an overwhelming joy . I had waited for so long and now
this precious little bundle belonged to me I decided that I WOULD CALL HER
“Maria “because I had always loved that name . when the nurse took her from me
, I lay exhausted but very , very happy
and then I fell asleep . My friends all came in bringing baby cards and flowers
and each one would pick Maria up and say she was very pretty, I was a proud
mother indeed!
I returned to school but would
wait to hear the gong then hurry to collect Maria. “she was such a good baby “
Aunt dorothea would always tell me when I went to pick her up .
As time wore on , and with it demands for
extras for Maria , I took up part- time
jobs . I ‘d buy her of – the – rack
clothes , and sometimes friends helped out with baby food .
However, I found that Maria did
not develop properly. she was not healthy and gained no weight . It was with
great difficulty that I could get her to take her feeds’ I was shocked
to find she had lost he beautiful glowing color ,her dimpled
smile was no longer there and I would weep every time I looked at her .she fell
ill frequently and I would take her to the clinic .the doctor were baffled,
they just couldn’t find out what was the
root cause of these frequent bouts of illness .
One day she was more ill then ever and I drove to the clinic .immediately I
arrived our doctor ,after a quick glance ,wheeled her into emergency .i waited
outside fear clutching at my heart .then he came and told me that Maria had
gone . I never dreamed that she would die and fell down in a dead heap. When I
came to mother was there and tried to console me as best she could . We buried
Maria in the quiet cemetery where dad too was buried . There she lay , my
little darling , between two Evergreens .
Life too goes on , and I returned
to school . My friends were there to help me to bear my recent sorrow . I paid lots
more attention to my schoolwork in order to forget the past . I vowed never to make
the mistake of falling in love with a stranger ever again . Gloria would urge
me to go out but I never had any inclination to .
My grades were excellent and mum
was so pleased . Graduation day dawned and mum wrapped me tightly in her arms
and I could see tears in her eyes . I knew she was thinking that if dad had
been there, he would have been so proud of me .
Every day I would walk quietly to
the cemetery and sit down near my baby
‘s grave . I felt I was so close to her when I did and I would talk to her and I
knew that wherever she was she would be listening .
I took a secretarial course and
started working with a journalist Edward
graves he was a brilliant person , his
articles appeared in leading newspapers and were sought after by everyone .
I loved my work even though the hours
were long . he made everything seem so worthwhile . as he was lonely his wife
having died of a brain tumor , I often invited him over for a cup of tea and cherished the thought that mum
would think of settling down as they
were close in age , but she never seemed inclined for anything more than
friendship . However, he always remembered to give us lovely presents when our
birthdays came round. one day an aspirin and went to dad early these headaches
were to get her to take her feeds I was shocked to find she had lost her
beautiful glowing color , her dimpled smile was no longer there and I would weep every time I looked at
her . she fell ill frequently and I would take her to the clinic . the doctors
were baffled , they just couldn’t find out what was the root cause of these
frequent bouts of illness . one day she was more ill than ever , and I rove to
the clinic immediately I arrived our doctor , after a quick glance ,wheeled her
into emergency . I waited outside fear clutching at my heart . then he came and
told me that Maria had gone . I never dreamed that she would die and fell down
in a dead heap . when I came to mother was there and tried to console me as
best she could . we buried Maria in the quiet cemetery where dad too was buried
. There she lay , my little darling between two evergreens .
Life too goes on , and I returned to school .
my friends were there to help me to bear my recent sorrow . I paid lots more attention to my schoolwork in
order to forget the past . I vowed never
to make the mistake of falling in love with a stranger ever again . Gloria would
urge me to go out but I never had any inclination to . My grades were excellent
and mum was so pleased. Graduation day dawned and mum wrapped me tightly in her
arms and I could see tears in her eyes. I knew she was thinking that if dad had
been there, he would have been so proud of me.
Every day I would walk quietly to he cemetery and sit down near my baby ‘s
grave . I felt I was so close to her when I did . And I would be listening .
I took a secretarial course and started working
with a journalist Edward graves. He was a brilliant person, his articles
appeared in leading newspapers and were sought after by everyone. I loved my
work even thought the hours were long . he made everything seem so worthwhile .
as he was lonely , his wife having died of a brain tumor , I often invited him
over for a cup of tea and cherished the thought
that mum would think of settling
down as they were close in age , but she never seemed inclined for anything more than friendship . however , he
always remembered to give us lovely presents when our birthday came round .
One day I had a blinding headache
which went as fast as it came . I took an aspirin and went to bed early . these
headaches were to periodically occur and I would continue to
take aspirins , mum objecting strongly telling me that me that I should visit
the clinic , but I hated to take any leave as I knew Edward would have the extra work
load if I did . however , he found me
looking seed and told me to take a few
days off . just as well that I did
because the glands in my neck started to swell
and it was very painful . then mum insisted on taking me herself to the
clinic . I remained well for some time , then one day I was running a
temperature and again came those blinding headaches , and swelling of the
glands in my neck . this time the clinic did a blood test .
During the next three months I
got ill very frequently , and then they decoded to do anther test . during this
period I got to know Dr . Michael quite well and I grew to depend on him completely . after this
second test he asked me to come back frequently to see him . more tests followed and then one
day there was a phone call and Michael asked me to come to the clinic without
delay . when I arrived he greeted me
as usual and then asked me to be
seated . he then said , “ jenny , now I want to know the names of the boys whom you have been sleeping with . “ I
was quite taken aback by his question . for a while I was speechless , he
repeated the question telling me that it
was important that he know . then with
great hesitation I told him there had been only one boy and that I dido ‘t know but please surprised the
seriousness of the situation . this may come as a shock to
you but you have been infected with the
HIV virus and I want this boy to come in and see me as soon possible . “
Then it struck me like a bolt of lightning.
Of course he should be told , but how was I going to when I didn’t know myself . Then the delayed shock of
hearing about myself set in . I put my head down on the table and wept my heart
out. I heard the bell ring and a nurse walk in. he whispered softly in her ear
and before long she was back again with a steaming cup of tea . After I drank
it I felt much better . Later I wondered what had been put into the tea . then
I opened my heart out to him , I left nothing out . even to the death of my
baby . I saw him look at me not in reproach , but with a look of pity and then
he sighed and said , “ once I too had a daughter like you .
after the death of my wife Toni was all I had . she too had been struck by the virus and then she eventually died of
aids . it was a great shock when the news was brought to me by her live
–in boyfriend . but then it was too late
! had I known in time she would have been with me until she died . so now I want you to look on me as a father and I promise to
help you all I can . “
I just sat spellbound until I
felt Michael gently nudge me . “ I know what I have told you will have come
as a shock , but you may not get aids , you may even recover so
have hope . “ I
I timidly asked if my baby too
had been infected and he answered , “your baby must have also carried the virus
but as this disease was just getting noticed the doctors could not pinpoint the
nature of her illness . “ it hit me like a slap in face , it was at my hand my
child had died . I was her murderess!
He now asked me to bring my
mother to see him . I hesitated, but he said , “your mother is your best friend
, she will never let you down . Take courage “ and with a pat on my shoulder he
led me to the door .
I couldn’t bear to go home , I just walked
and walked the streets until it
grew dark and then I found myself on Edward’s doorstep . I rang the bell and
Beatrice the old housekeeper appeared. Then after showing me in she went to
call him . on entering , then smile left
his face , he could see my puffed – out eyes red with weeping , my hair a
tousled mess and he asked , “ has something happened to your mother ? “ to which I shook my head . Then in between
sods I told him everything . I though that he would look in horror at me but on
the contrary he took both my hands in his and said, “this makes no difference
jenny , you need not be afraid . I’ll always stand by you. now I’ll drive you
home and tomorrow you must go to the clinic with your mother .”
I couldn’t sleep but paced the floor , living the whole
nightmare once again . I remembered the past, how I had loved so blindly and
now having to pay for it . a great hate for him rose up in my breast . Was I doomed to die some day if I got the
killer disease ? Suddenly I looked up and found my mother standing in the
doorway . She said , Edward phoned “ . Just two little words but what must she be feeling in her heart !
“Now try to get some sleep and
tomorrow we will go to the doctor “ . I looked fearfully up at her . but all I was such love in her heart
for me .
However, I saw my future looming before me with only despair
for my companion , and I burst out crying . Mother drew and rocked me in her
arms like she did when I was a small child , and I must have dropped off for
when I woke the sun was shining so brightly as if to tell me to cheer up .
mother drove me to the clinic. Michael led mum into the inner room and after
some time they returned and mum took me
home . on the way I asked her what Michael had said and she replied that whenever I felt ill I was to
meet him .
I was both depressed and filled
with anxiety but mother helped me so much during this period . Edward was
so And. I felt he deserved the best and
I tried to work even better and his reassuring smile and encouragement helped
me so much.
Whenever the gang came by I couldn’t bear to join them in their
partying anymore .They sensed something
was wrong and always left looking so sad. Then suddenly I decided that
must tell them were so young, how many of them may get the virus due to their
ignorance just like I did. And so one day I asked them to come to my home and
as we sat together I I told them everything .At first there w as horror on
their faces, and then they decided to be extra careful in their relationship.
Now we planned to start a club and that we would call it “Hope”. We found a
nice place in somebody’s house and made it look lovely. We put up pretty
curtain and painted to the furniture all the brightest of colours. There were
potted plants as also beautiful flowers in vases. On the wall hung pictures of
elvis Presley, Ricky nelson, don Williams and other singers. We wanted this to
be a place where the lost would come in and find solace.
There we helped each other to go
for counseling, sometimes a HIV sufferer was filled with suicidial tendencies,
we encouraged them as best we could . soon our club started to get recognized
and many more girls and boys joined. We started having talent contest. There
was a kitty bank where pres were distributed for music ,
dancing , short stories. We would go for long nature walks, collecting
specimens and accordingly awarded prizes to the best . Sometimes a friend
failed to come in and we would immediately try to find out the reason why . If
they had been admitted to the hospital
,we would visit them , talking gifts and cheering them in whatever way we could . If somebody got too bed ,one
of us would take tunes to be with the sick person .
One day mum’s car had a flat tier and as she was in a hurry she took mine
. I travelled to “Hope” on the bus .sitting beside me was a nurse. I noticed
she kept
glancing at me frequently and suddenly her gaze fell on my chain . Her eyes widened in
surprise and then she hesitatingly asked
me to see it . I remove it from my neck and she took it in into her hands and opened the locket.
Immediately she saw my photograph she
asked ,” can you tell me at if you have given a
similar one to anyone ,perhaps a
boy? “And she looked enquiringly at me.
I drew in my breath, it was such
a long , time ago and all the bitterness
had gone with the opening of “Hope’?, when I saw hundreds who had come hope in
their hearts, that Aids would pass them by , and yet where finally Aids had gathered them to her bosom and
laughed victoriously . I just sat quiet , when I saw , “their is someone in the Hospital where I work . He
too wears a similar one . He is dying of Aids.”
Then as our bus rolled to a stop
I found her getting off . I quickly left my seat and followed her .
She looked back and saw me .
Then she stopped . I help out my hand,
‘wait , I must go with you . ‘ She
patted my shoulder and pointed to a building , “This is where I work “. We
walked together to one bed where someone lay someone whom I could hardly
recognize. How changed he was! A wasted wretched sight. For one moment I
rejoiced to see him look that way, then the thought suddenly came I remembered
the nurse telling me He was dying . Then I felt only pity for Him.
I could see he was trying to
recollect who I was .Slowly, slowly, he seemed to remember. A frown creased his
brow and then his head drooped to one side. Again he moved his head until
his was staring right at me . Suddenly
I saw
him smile , but it seemed more of a grimace . I saw him lift his hand ,
it was a painful task for him , and he
fumbled until his finger grasped the locket . I saw his lips move . Then I bent
down to be able to grasp what he was saying . At last I could hear ever so
faintly , “Forgive m----eeee” . And his head fell back . The nurse came in at that moment and I
knew that he was gone .
I was shaken to the core . All
this happened so suddenly , the past had returned bringing with it fleeting
image of a fist meeting , a love that had ended in heartbreak , and then the
reckoning !
I walked down the stairs , head
bent , and then ear clutched at my breast , icy fingers tore at my heart , I
could see myself in the trail of the tenacious killer Aids and I shivering both
with the aftermath of what I had just witnessed and what could happen to me ,
felt as if I were a full-blown victim already . I hailed a cab and told the
driver to get me to the Hospital . I had to see Michael at once . He was just
seeing a patient out and I rushed in . I was
still trembling and he asked me
to sit down . Then before he could ask me to explain anything I blurted out all
that had happened .
In a gentle tone he said , ‘Now
jenny , calm yourself . I once told you that you may not may not get aids even
though you have the HIV infection. I have already explained that if you have
well balanced died and continue to exercise and keep up with the therapies that
I have recommended, there is every chance of you remaining in good health. Since
the opening of “HOPE’, you have seen how many are still attending without
having developed Aids . The most important thing to bear in mind is that you
must not despair .continue to do what you are doing . Edward has has told me
what an efficient worker you are , your mother has the loudest praises for you
. Just look at the way you were when you came in , and now I see a girl sitting
before me with hope Radiating from her.”And he gave me the
biggest smile. I jumped up and threw my arms round him. And said, “thank you
for all your kindness shown to me”.
Now I divided my time between
“?HOPE” and my office work. But it left me very exhausted, so we worked it out
that I go to “HOPE” About three times in the week, and I left somebody to carry
on in place. Edward was always time
between a frequent visitor in our home . one day he suggested that we accompany
him to the theatre where there was an old Elvis Presley film showing
. He sat in between us and as the film got under way I saw , to my
surprise , Edward holding mum ‘ s hand .
after the film we she seemed to be so
happy . then I sensed they were in love but left it to them to tell me on their
own .
Now I stayed out longer because
I knew Edward ‘ s car would be
parked outside our porch , I did not
want to spoil anything for them . I loved my mum so much, and Edward . He was
everything that dad had been , kind ,
thoughtful and generous . And I knew he would make a good husband.
Came Christmas and we went to
church I noticed that mum seemed to be excited about something, she kept
smiling quietly to herself, and if she found me looking at her , she would hastily turn away . I
wondered what it was all about. Then when we got home Edward drove up . he came
forward , held mum ‘s hand and placed a
diamond on her finger . he then bent and
kissed her . Turning to me he said , “ jenny , we were keeping this as a
surprise for Christmas day . I love your mother and I want you to wish us both
all happiness. we plan to marry on your mum ‘s birthday . “march the 10th , I thought just a few months
away .
I was so happy and I
embraced them both . he handed me an
exquisite frame scalloped with pearls
and in the centre the word “Hope “ in
tiny seed pearls . mum gave him a navy cardigan done in a cable pattern which
she herself had knitted , and my gift was a gold – tipped pen and pencil set as he was forever losing his .
I was kept
on my toes with the wedding fast
approaching , so Edward asked me
to find somebody to fill me one day I happened to bump into Patricia in a busy
shopping centre . she was no longer the plump girl I had known back in
school but had grown into a beautiful willowy blonde . she was nicknamed “ Brains “ because
she was an excellent student . over tea
and cakes I explained all about the job . she
was thrilled to work with Edward and I asked her to come in the
following day to meet him .
We decided on a small wedding with just a few
people . mum wore a brocaded dress and a
wreathe of rose twined in her hair .
Edward in his chocolate suit looked so smart . they both made a handsome pair .
my eyes misted over for I knew that I
would never for I knew that I would
never know the joys of being a bride
because I would never ever try to destroy anther human being with the HIV virus
.
After the wedding mum and Edward
waved gaily to me as they drove off on their honeymoon . when the car was out
of sight I felt the first pangs of loneliness . mum had been such a part of me for so long and I felt myself
crying . then suddenly an arm encircled my waist and
Patricia took me home and stayed with me until mum and Edward got back .
they returned looking quite refreshed and I
went back to our old home . I requested patrician to move in with me and she
readily agreed . I had learned to love her very much and together we shared a
lovely friendship I started “ Hope “ in my home as there was enough space .
everybody agreed it was a good idea .
I gave myself completely to “Hope
“ . there was always so much to do and
as days went by I was saddened to find that so many who had attended school and college with me had also got
affected by the HIV virus . we formed a close bond and drew strength from one
anther .
One morning the glands of my neck
started to swell again Michael treated
me and I stayed in bed a few days . not long after I was running a temperature
and head throbbed all the time . I was
feeling very depressed and mum sat with me all the time . this was to continue
for many months I found I was having to
go to the clinic most of the time . still
worse was to follow . diarrhea was very frequent and I had to get into the hospital . then after a time
I was discharged . for a while I kept
fairly well and then again a time I was ill and went into hospital .
Mum now insisted that I live with them and she
decided to sell the house . I knew my
treatment was costing them so much
and it was for the best . it was arranged that “ Hope “
be moved to its former place . I knew that even if I fell ill often my friends would carry on. Patricia went back to her old rooming house where she had many friends.
be moved to its former place . I knew that even if I fell ill often my friends would carry on. Patricia went back to her old rooming house where she had many friends.
The visits to hospital were a frequent occurrence . I became so depressed and needed
counseling all the time . one day while I rested at home after being discharged , I could
hear mother talking to Michael . they
thought I was asleep .
Michael, is this true what you
are telling me ? “
“ Yes “ , he answered . “ jenny has developed aids . now on no
account alarm her . leave it to me . I will come back immediately I have dealt
with an urgent case that has just come in . “
I was shocked , I could hardly believe what I had just
learned . it was six years ago that I
had first known that I had been infected with the HIV virus !
I saw mum come in and sit beside me . I waited for a while and then the
reaction set in I began to scream . I was hysterical and shouted , “
mum , I don’t want to die . mum ,
help me , save me . “
Such a look of sadness came into
her eyes . she knew that I had heard
everything . she put both her arms
around me and said , “ jenny ‘ I love you . I am here . I will always be beside
you . please jenny , trust in medical science .
they may even find a cure some day . jenny , my darling . you . I am here . I will always be
beside you . please jenny , trust in
medical science . they may even find a
cure some day . jenny , my darling . you must calm yourself . you will
even make yourself –more ill . Michael is brilliant and I have every hope in
him , “ but in my heart I knew that there
would never be a cure . that one day I would have to pay the price !
For many days I couldn’t bear to even allow mum near me . I’d scream , I ‘d
cry I would say the most hurtful things and the next moment I would be
so sorry and then I would shed bitter tears . mum would watch my moods and cordingly she would act . How patient she would be with
me . I needed in selling more than ever , and finally I came to terms with myself . Slowly
resigned myself to my fate , I kept hoping that a miracle would
happen that I would be cured some day .
When I felt well enough I would
go to “Hope “ . my friends came to know about me , I told them myself but if
they were shocked they never owed it I
threw myself into my work . it helped to take thing of my and . sometimes I was
too exhausted to do anything but rested
instead , chael insisted that I do so whenever I felt that way . also I
had to be cry careful of my diet .
A year went by in this way , and with it I was more in hospital than home . now I had to be helped
in so many ways . I would explode with
that I imagined was an unfair decision .
mum and Edward were such a drain on all
heir savings . but there was so much of love and kindness , and most of all
understanding , from these two beautiful souls , that I am so grateful for . they
were always so caring , giving of their time unceasingly even though here were
so many things for both of them to attend to .
There came the time when I was so ill that I
had to be hospitalized immediately the doctors
diagnosed pneumonia . besides I was so weakened with the diarrohea that I
could hardly move .
Mom sat beside me all that time , never leaving the room , and had
to forced to get some food into her . Edward would come in as often as he could
. and Patricia would bring loads of roses , beautiful red roses , because roses
were my favourite flowers . my friends would sit telling me thing to take me
happy , sometimes we would even cry together . for a long time I have been
unable to sleep at night , but mum would be there ever alert to my every move .
there are dark circles Neath her eyes for lack of sleep . when am gone she will
miss me , know , but I am so happy that
she has Edward to help her grieve less .
The doctors come in they are always cheerful ,
but there is such an empty feeling in my
heart . I see the lovely blue sky through my window , and I wonder when I will
no longer be able to see it . an early
bird has ventured onto the sill , I feel so weak , how I wish I can scatter a
few crumbs .
I lie remembering all the gay times , I never
see Gloria anymore , I heart she is
going steady now . I hope someday she
hears about me , then perhaps she will never ever make the mistake that I did .
The room is getting dark , is it
night already ? I want to ask mum but
somehow I see Maria instead of mum , she
is holding out her arms to me , but I cannot move , I lie here
like a piece of driftwood , I call out to mum but she doesn’t seem to
hear . suddenly I see her and Maria
has gone , I over me and
Michael has joined her .
Everything is growing faint and I can no longer see . A terrible
exhaustion is stealing over me . perhaps tomorrow I ‘ ll tell mum about Maria …….aahh
! ughh ! …….. I …… think …….
That ……. Sometimes …….. tomorrow
never ………… c – c – comes …….
Aaaah !!!
THE END
Mother interview with our MDPC WEB TV
Sir., welcome to our orphanage Sri.DR.D.Suresh
Babu., Senior Journalist, Director, UNITY HUMAN RIGHTS
ORGANISATION Founder and president, Artist
,Editor ,Story writer, PRODUCER
Sir., You are like a lotus flower grows
wherever slush ,is thick, The filth er the better beauty and fragrance. You are
a person transforming the slush to fragrance.
1.Sir.,What can i do for you and to your associates
team visiting us periodically ?
2.DR.D.Suresh Babu:I want to interact with the
inmates of your orphanage and cheer them for the X'mas and New Year Celebration
.
3.Sir.,Please come you are heartily welcome
meet one Mrs. Agnes O Shaughnessy who is an Anglo Indian a senior most in our
orphanage .
4.DR.Suresh Thrilled by seeing Her who is
eighty nine years old looks so active, smart and having energetic look, Good
morning Madam we are from United Human Rights Organization affiliated to U.S.A.
organization.
5.Agnes:sir.Good morning a new bliss has come
on my face and mind after seeing you, Your Wife and all your associates team i
feel of celebrating not only X'mas even New Year 2019.
6.DR.D.Suresh Babu: Madam you are like my
Mother why not we dance and relax to make you comfort before i could start my
interview Yaah surely.
7.DR.D.Suresh Babu: quotes Wife and Mother are
like different fruits the taste may differ but as a fruit they are same, My
Wife is so impressed so much on you as a Mother i am very much in love with
you..
8.Agnes:sir.this orphanage is like cocooned
with certain number of people living together with joy, sorrow, pain and
struggle because our children's have left us orphan. This stay is for the
limited period of time because life is a gap between our birth and death so we
have to make our life beautiful and wonderful until we live.
9.DR.Suresh Babu: Where is your birth place?
which year you have born?
10.Agnes:sir.i was born in Kolar Gold Fields
near Oorguam,i was born in the year 1929,my parents are no more. I travel led
my life facing challenges and struggles with all pain i make myself in such a
way that i am a beautiful human being.
11.DR.Suresh Babu: where did you studied and
which place you got employment and how did you enjoyed those days ?
12.Anges:When i was nine years i moved to
Bangalore it was second home town to me ,i studied at St.Joseph Convent
graduated and worked under a gracious person who was an Editor for Deccan
Herald News Daily as a Typist, when ever i get time i use to go to CASH
PHARMACY work there and i was a visiting teacher to Good Shepherd school to
teach children's.
13.DR.D.Suresh Babu: Have you visited any
where apart from Bangalore and Kolar Gold Fields?
14.Agnes:My experience from other states of
Karnataka was so fantastic, where ever i go i see people with tears of love and
joy. I visited Nagaland. Assam, Calcutta and lastly settled in Dharmapuri Tamil
Nadu State. People of Nagaland ladies are so beautiful with melodies voice all
are western cultured they use to sing songs so nice to hear but one drawback is
they eat dog meat, I advice them not to eat dog meat because it is the only
animal who is human friendly.
15.DR.D.Suresh Babu:When did you get married
and hoe many siblings do you have ?
16.Agnes:I have only daughter, Educated well
and settled in Bangalore we do not have contacts because days have changed. my
experience with her is bitter and unfulfilled because recollecting the past is
of no use but till today i remain like a good fragrance to her as a mother i am
for sacrifice to the entire part of my life to her.
17.DR.D.Suresh babu. what was your social work
you have contributed to all living beings ?
18.Agnes:When i was in Bangalore i use to visit
Victoria Hospital, Bowering Hospital, meet the top Doctors, meet the patients
who are in need and in poverty i pray for them because i am a God fearing lady
i use to go to church regular ally Jesus Christ has risen with me due to
sincere prayers made me to help the people. my sincere advice to the younger
generation Age is not the criteria be happy and do good because only once we
live, how we live or die is not important what are the remarkable events you
have done to all living beings to follow the footsteps of yours is important .Sir
I want to make a book of my memories you have to help and bring forward
although it may seem like the years is over it is not over for me my blessing
to you is sprout like a tiny seed and grow like a banyan tree right things are
not possible always be true to your heart you will never go wrong one who wins
without problem is just a victory but one who wins with lots of troubles is the
history. I hope my request to make a memorable book of my life you will
complete before God calls me. Thank You.
May God Bless You Your Wife who aides you in
all needs and your associates team. Bye. Agnes O Shaughnessy.
These are the snaps of the old
women by name Agnes. we used to ask for
a snap.
With our team we had some of the
snaps. Once I had been to a Christmas function, she had told of her experience,
so she had a very impression of a dance, so to satisfy her views I had to dance
with her and she felt happy with tears in her
eyes remembering her old days of enjoyment during Christmas days.
She had told of her dream and she
had been very emotional when she had told about the story and she wanted to
explain the story and it should be explained and to written and published, so
she felt happy that her dream would be fulfilled by me when I would publish her
story, so this event was also memorable.
